Re-thinking omniscience…

// April 8th, 2009 // EVERYDAY LIFE

washer1

As I was pouring coffee this morning, I heard the drama in the next room and knew what was going on. Victoria and Jadyn slept together in the same bed and Victoria’s “rinse off in the tub” at 7:07am was a sure sign that the sea of dreams they were in minutes before wasn’t a sea at all – at least not one of dreams.

And Jadyn said, “Shhhh…’Toria don’t tell mom…”

And ‘Toria didn’t. I guess because ‘Toria has been around and knows the world that she lives in. It’s a world of secret societies and agencies led by moms who seem to know everything.

Jadyn, at age 4 and 361 days is going to experience this harsh reality today as she will every time there’s the attempt at doing something sneaky:

There is no getting past mom. She really does know everything.

I used to think that God was omniscient, but now I think God is just really connected to every mom walking the planet.

It was true of my grandmother who hid her powers by giving credit to little birds – fowls who were her personal informants. My mother was a little less humble. She said, “Your mom will find out!”

Jessica likes to use it as a tool of psyching out our kids and a means of preemptive discipline:

“I know everything that’s going on. I even know what you’re thinking. You can’t fool me. When you do it I will know.”

So I gave my kids a “best wishes” kiss on their heads before I snuck out of the house. I could hear mom’s footsteps as I pulled away.

Leave a Reply