TATTOO on the HEART

Limited imagination…

// May 26th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // OUT LOUD THOUGHTS

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” Ephesians 3:20

Honestly, most of us have never seen God do anything either we haven’t imagined or could not imagine.

This says nothing about the limits of God, but the limits that we’ve constructed around Him.

We’ve often misunderstood Him I think.

I think we might pray to a different god than Him. Because the god we’re praying to is too weak to be Him.

I think we pray for smaller things because we can keep God from failing us or at the very least disappointing us.

We need our imaginations redeemed. We need them stretched. Truth be told, we need a lot of it to be razed and totally leveled .

When Jesus taught us to pray for His Kingdom to come, it had heavy implications. Because when Jesus prayed, His intimate connection was with a Father who had zero limits. And Jesus’ prayers matched the desires of the heart of the Father.

I wonder what’s in the imagination of God.
I wonder what He’s dreaming about.

When we ask God to let His Kingdom come, we’re saying whatever is going on up there is how it must be here. We’re asking God to unlock the mysteries. To make His hopes and dreams a reality right here, right now.

I wonder if we’d dare to ask God what He’s dreaming about and to allow precisely those things to be the purpose of our life.

I wonder what would happen.

Life would certainly get a lot more dangerous. We’d be a little more fearless. I think our stories be a lot more interesting. We’d constantly shake our heads in disbelief when weren’t scratching our heads. We’d laugh – you know those goofy laughs when the unexpected happens like winning the lottery.

But then again, that’s too easy to imagine. It’d be much better than that.

Here we go again…

// May 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // OUT LOUD THOUGHTS

 Every now and then I leave the house at the exact same time as my neighbors.  Our driveways are literally 2 feet apart and when I encounter them, I typically give them a polite greeting before pulling on my helmet and starting my scooter.This morning the wife of this couple responded to my “Good morning, how’s it going?”  with a “Yep, here we go again.”

My instantaneous response was, “Yeah, I guess we get another chance to get it right today.”  And I smiled as I squashed my mop of hair into my helmet.

I didn’t plan the response.  I think somehow I was subconsciously referencing the movie, “Groundhog Day.” 

In the movie, Bill Murray is a weatherman sent to cover Punxsutawney Phil – the famous groundhog in Pennsylvania who predicts the beginning or delay of spring every year – on Groundhog Day.  Trouble is, every day that Bill Murray wakes up after that day is Groundhog Day.   

In the movie, he moves from taking advantage of the situation and wreaking havoc to growing bitter and suicidal.  But by the end of the movie, that same day brings about a miraculous change in Murray.  And the funny thing is that Murray actually brings change in that set in stone PREDICTABLE day.

So my response to her probably sounded like the most religious thing I’ve ever said if you’re a person who thinks of God as one of punishment and regiment.  Actually I don’t see Him that way at all.

I guess I see life – predictable or unpredictable – as a place where God is ever present and where the desire of His heart is for what is already in His Kingdom to be so here right now in that moment.

But I think the problem is that we as broken people usually look around at life as a constant form of repetition at many levels oblivious to the fact that God’s presence is so near and He’s desiring to bring about change in us that changes the world.  We’re guilty if we don’t see Him because He’s there.  We’re guilty because we’ve accepted things as they are or we’ve accepted the lie that this natural world as we know it is how it is to be.

If we don’t see change – either in us or in the world around us – then it’s a sure sign that something is wrong. 

The answer isn’t to seek change though.  That’s backwards. The answer is to seek God.  We seek God and change happens.   We have no life to give the world if we aren’t receiving Life.

Maybe our prayers change, “God, here we go again, but I know that’s not your purpose.”  Whatever you see in heaven, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  And whatever you see on earth that’s not that way, it’s got to stop.  So how’s God choosing to bring that reality?  Through us – today.  Right now even.

You’ve got another chance today – that so-called predictable life of yours.  God is so stubborn that He’s not going to give up on you.  He wants to do something stunning and jaw-dropping and He just seems intent on not doing it without you.

So seek Him and say yes.  And keep your eyes open to what He’s doing.

Credibility costs…

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // OUT LOUD THOUGHTS

Saw this story on CNN.com today.

A pastor at a church in Texas told his congregation that he knew how difficult the economic downturn was and that he’d like people who needed money to take money out of the plate rather that putting money in.

I hope this is contagious.  We can’t very well tell people to trust God with the money you give and then be greedy graspers as the Church.

Church gives fresh meaning to ‘offering’ plate

Rather than doing more giving and financial class sermons, perhaps local churches will find a way to sacrifice some of luxuries and comforts and find a way to meet the needs of people.

I hope so.

Here are my favorite quotes of Pastor Toby Sough:
In these economic times, we can’t be so into church business that we forget what our business is, and that is to help people.

Slough said he is not concerned if people try to take advantage of the church’s generosity.

I told my church a couple weeks ago, if I’m not being taken advantage of, I’m not being like Jesus.

Jadyn the gymnastics prodigy…

// May 13th, 2009 // No Comments » // EVERYDAY LIFE

Jadyn just turned 5 and is somewhat of a gymnastics prodigy – okay, maybe I’m just a proud daddy….I could be…

HANDSTAND…

CARTWHEEL…

Fasting from books…

// May 11th, 2009 // No Comments » // OUT LOUD THOUGHTS

Some months back I decided I’d fast…from books.  For years I’ve read multiple books at a time, but I just came to the realization that I needed to put down all the extracurricular reading and focus simply on hearing the voice of God through His Word. 

It’s not that God can’t speak through books, but I think sometimes we’re guilty of pursuing knowledge or truth without pursuing God.  And there’s a real problem with that: truth is a Person.  Truth without encountering God Himself is religion.

That’s another reason I think that a great deal of “relevant, practical teaching” that focuses only on teaching the principles of God’s Word is bogus.  Truth without the Person is worthless. If all Jesus did was give us great “truths” then He simply wasted His time dying on the cross.  What makes Him different than all of the great teachers of all the world religions was the fact that He brought us into relationship with Him and access to His power to transform our lives. 

I just hope we can check ourselves if we’re prostituting God’s Word or at the very least cheapening it.  Encountering God, finding Him, knowing Him – my God, He’s just extraordinary.

At every turn I find Him.  I experience His love.  I have my identity reformed.  My mind renewed.  I can’t get this stupid smile off my face.  And there’s just something when you encounter the presence of God that Truth is revealed.  The air of his Spirit inflates your lungs.  There’s an ease and a peace that is not based on circumstances. 

And it’s infectious. People ask questions.  It’s much like when Mary went to see Elizabeth and at her very greeting, Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and even the baby – John the Baptist – in her belly leaped.

You see, that’s what’s supposed to happen.  That is normal in this regular ongoing encounter and experience with God.  And I think that anything less is us somehow settling.

HOPE proven right…

// May 3rd, 2009 // 23 Comments » // EVERYDAY LIFE, OUT LOUD THOUGHTS

Jessica’s health has so deteriorated.  All I’ve been able to do is stand by helplessly.  I try to do the things that I can around here, but it just seems like such nothingness…Leaving here with unmet expectations is difficult.  I love Orlando, Victoria’s in a great school, etc.  But I am resolved for Jessica to get well even though that might mean a lesser job and a reorientation of life as I’ve known it.  Let Your will be done, Lord.

Personal Journal Entry 5.28.07

I wrote that entry at one of the most intense times of our life.

I remember right around our 1st year anniversary in 2001, Jessica started complaining about her muscles burning.  A short time later she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.  Now some people know fibromyalgia as simple soreness or stiffness.  But no one we knew could relate to Jessica. Fast forward to 2007 and Jessica was head-to-toe in excruciating pain.

While leading a demanding ministry at a megachurch in Orlando, I struggled to balance the growing needs at home.  Jessica’s muscle weakness had turned into periods of numbness in both arms and even her face.  It was commonplace to come home and clean up glass from cups and plates that had shattered from Jessica losing her grip.

I would pull her up out of bed, wash her hair, and often hold her helplessly as she cried in pain.

One month after the above entry, Jessica nearly died in the hospital after a gallbladder surgery gone bad.  I decided 2 things when we got out of the hospital:

1) I’d do whatever it took to get Jessica well.  I’d sacrifice everything that meant anything to me.
2) I’d never do ministry the same way again.

So shortly after Jessica walked out of the hospital, I gave my resignation to my pastor, and sought getting Jessica into a stable, less intense climate where we might also find better medical care.

We found that place in San Diego.

About 6 months ago, I just really sensed that something was happening.  God was at work doing something.  All these years Jessica and I have prayed for healing perhaps 1000s of times.  And it’s been amazing that God has worked this phenomenal persistence and stubbornness in Jessica.

You know, I think most of the time we’re so comfortable in the things in Scripture that are black and white.  Most Christians are incredibly comfortable doing things that they believe that they are certain about.  They’ll protest something like the 10 Commandments being removed or Proposition 8 because they are so sure about God’s judgment.  They are certain of God’s will when they believe the matter is judgment.  And they will pray shamelessly, relentlessly, and with absolute conviction.

But in matters of healing – things that require a God who is generous and full of mercy and grace – we’re not sure about those things.  Those are the only times when people will pray things like: “If it’s your will, God.”  We say those things because we need to give God an out if He doesn’t show up and do anything.

It’s sad, but true.  We mostly don’t know a God of generosity, mercy, & grace.

I’m not going to say that Jessica and I didn’t have moments of frustration and even anger, but we never stopped asking and praying.  We were essentially going to pray until we got a “No,” meaning, we’d pray until God just told us to stop praying.  We just were not going to accept being sick for life.

Well, back to what I started sensing 6 months ago…

Things started to feel like they were changing – not that I could physically see anything.  I prayed with a renewed sense of purpose.  I was expecting more.  And for some reason, I felt – not that it was just going to happen someday – but that it was close.  And I told Jessica, “I don’t know why, but I feel like your healing is close.”

And last weekend, Jessica, after 8+ years of sickness that escalated at times to Jessica nearly being an invalid, she was healed.

Jessica literally went from being sick in one moment to being completely healed in the next.

It’s just like the encounter with Jesus – being brought from death to life, new from old.

Jessica took this picture of her own feet after walking on the beach around San Jose.

When I picked up Jessica from the airport last Sunday, you could have picked her out of the crowd of 100 or so people waiting on the curb by baggage claim.  In Exodus 33, Moses face shined after he was in the real presence of God.  You could have seen that a mile away on Jessica’s face.  There was such a vibrancy and literally the years of age and pain were wiped away.

And for the last week we’ve lived in this often surreal experience.  Jessica and I haven’t had a moment where we’ve looked at each other and not laughed or smiled.  We’ve never known such joy and oneness with each other and God.

And now what?  This past week we went 0 to 100 miles per hour for the first time ever.  We held nothing back.  And I can only imagine what that means for the future.

Us and God?  Wow is that ever a dangerous combination.  After moving wherever and taking extreme risks for Him, I’d have to say that everything else in life that requires trust in Jesus is just so trivial.  God’s huge!  He’s so amazing, powerful, generous, and good.

What now?  I guess wait and see.